Yello's Personal Thoughts
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May 7, 2025 - Hanging out is the new rebellion
As I'm writing this entry, I'm about to embark on a 5-day vacation to PAX East with a big group of friends. This gaming convention has been my Disney World for the past few years because so much excitement, joy, and fun happens. Unlike the past couple of PAX trips, I actually saved up a sizable budget for myself to spend on whatever I want. For most of my life, I've been fortunate enough to rely on my parents to help cover the costs of me going out for fun (which rarely happens). But this time, I saved up over the months and this is my reward. I absolutely cannot afford an expensive trip across the world, but I'm more than willing to go all out for a gaming convention.
And this annual event has me thinking about how the role of finances and careers should fit in my life. Personally, I never liked the idea of slaving away at meaningless work if it meant I could afford to move out, have a car, and go on fancy vacations. I'm a homebody through and through, which means all I need is a safe place to stay, an internet connection, and my games. I don't need many expenses to live a content life. But I've also started to realize how much I've needed quality friendship and community.
I grew in an environment where education, money, and careers were the most important. Everything I did needed to contribute to one of those things. While professional progress is obviously a good thing in the long run, I was never taught the important of support and connection. Over the past couple of years, I've been coming out of my shell of self-preservation and began saying "yes" to more social events. Whether it was hanging out with friends, going to meetups, or making local connections, all of these important interpersonal skills that I should've developed as a teenager, I'm just now starting in my adulthood.
When I graduated college in 2022, I was genuinely frightened about how I was gonna enter the job market because I didn't feel prepared. They say that a degree is an accomplishment, but when you're submitting your 50th job application only to never hear back doesn't really support that belief anymore. My fears of inadequacy became true. I tried my best to optimize my resume, apply to whatever came up, personalize my cover letter to every listing that required it, and yet...nothing. The only jobs that accepted me were low-bar minimum wage jobs. Not exactly a confidence boost.
Because I grew up only prioritizing work, the constant rejection hit harder on me because I had nothing else to focus on, besides coping with video games. When I was endlessly job hunting on my own, it felt extremely lonely and demoralizing. But that's when I began reconnecting with a high school friend. We shared the same frustration over the abhorrent job market even during the "hiring boom" of 2022. We started exchanging deeper thoughts and feelings about our personal lives. For the first time in a while, I made a true human connection; nothing situational, nothing transactional. Just someone that supported anything I was going through.
And as the months had gone by, growing our friendship more and more, we started to branch out in ways that we'd never expected. Since then, I've met SO many kind people who live in my town who also love games, connected with very important people who want to help us get our projects off the ground, and I found a new local friend group that I've been yearning for. And all of this growth NEVER came from a random interview for a random company. Instead, this came from my own will to socialize and connect. Not from forced networking events or LinkedIn messages. But from showing up and finding those who just want to have a good time.
Having money and a stable career is great BUT there needs to be a better balance. I no longer want my life to revolve around getting a high-paying job to live out the expectations of older generations. I've needed time to build up this fulfilling social life because I was never incentivized to do so. That social support has done wonders to my self-esteem and future plans that no career fair or Indeed listing could ever do.
So as I'm about to go on my mini-vacation, I'm taking in every moment to enjoy myself for once and not thinking about how much money I should be making. Because frankly, I deserve to celebrate my personal growth that got me here today.