Yello's Personal Thoughts
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January 2, 2025 - A quite eventful year
2024 began and ended in completely different mindsets. This was such a transformative year, thankfully for the better. I started out 2024 unemployed, lost, and a little bit hopeless. And I ended 2024 with a steady income, new connections, and full of hope. Let me explain.
Back to unemployment
In October 2023, I quit my minimum wage food service job because I was fed up. I slowly witnessed all of my coworkers leave my location until I was one of 4 people working, most shifts were just me and one other person. I haven't felt that isolated in so long. I was stuck working a job I resisted until I had to apply out of desperation. But I finally decided that enough was enough, and I quit with no upcoming jobs lined up; essentially no backup plan. In hindsight, it was probably a foolish decision, but I felt like I had no choice after feeling undervalued for months.
My next plan was to seriously commit to my YouTube channel, which was far from gaining real traction, but this time I needed to buckle down and make this work for myself. If I was gonna dive into the crowded YouTube pool, I wanted to give it my best shot with no distractions. I began obsessing over YouTube once again; working every day, preparing a backlog of scripts, recorded SO much more footage than ever before, optimized my video format, and treated my channel like it had a sizable audience. That's what all the YouTube gurus say, right? Surely, I could brute force my way to success all on my own...
Yeah...all that effort did not yield the results I wanted. Even though I was pumping out more videos than ever before, I felt less connected to them. And the declining views reflected that. Since I felt like I had to emulate the popular Nintendo videos at the moment, my ended up blending into the mix. Whatever I said in those videos could've easily been written by another YouTube. I was putting in much more effort for minuscule results. Remember, I was fully unemployed at this point, so I couldn't afford to watch my new video fail to hit my expectations. I was fully expecting to explode my channel within a few months, but I simply couldn't figure out the right way to go about it.
And losing the only stable income I had really weighed down on me. As someone who loves to stay home and keep to myself, it's different when I know that I'm wasting away. I don't know how some people feel can tolerate mindlessly consuming in their room all day with nowhere to be. I hate that jobs are essential for us to live, but that's just how our society is set up. I've learned that not only does it support us financially, but mentally as well. No one likes working a job they hate. But at the very least, there's a clear distinction between free time and work time. I could focus on my hobbies all I want, but I'm not yet at a point where I can monetize them comfortably.
PAX East 2: Electric Boogaloo
I wanted to right the wrongs from my first ever PAX East in 2023. Even though my friend and I planned as much as we could, nothing could prepare us from the sheer amount of stuff to do in a gaming convention. We definitely missed out on some high priority things on our list, so we made sure to take our schedule more seriously with our newfound experience. Except this time, I was going with an even BIGGER group. I somehow convinced my online friends from out-of-state to come along for the ride, and I will always be grateful for that.
Meeting them face-to-face for the first time was magical. I've never felt more excited to finally meet people I've known through a screen for years. On top of anticipating an annual convention, this was destined to be one of the most memorable weekends of my life. I truly did not want that weekend to end. I actually experienced the post-convention depression because of how much joy I felt.
Job hunting the old fashioned way
Unfortunately reality crept back in after PAX because I was still unemployed with student loans. At this point, I was 6 months in without any steady income and I was feeling stuck and directionless. My YouTube efforts haven't gone anywhere and I started feeling burned out from pumping out videos. So there I was back on Indeed. I have a bone to pick with online job listing. They either recommend out-of-reach jobs that require more experience than I could imagine, or it's the same minimum wage jobs that nobody wants to apply to. I had already been applying through online job posts ever since I graduated in 2022, and 99% of the time, I wouldn't even land an interview.
So out of desperation, I cold-emailed a local place in my town with my resume. I remembered a new friend of mine who works there mentioned being short-staffed. So I was like, "why not?" I had nothing to lose at this point. Apparently I applied at the right time because I came in for the interview, secured the job, and came in for my first shift all within a week! And this is when I learned that applying for jobs the old-fashioned way still work somehow. At the time of writing this, I'm still working here and honestly, this is the best job I've had to so far. I couldn't have asked for a better outcome after so much strife.
Branching out
Post-college and post-pandemic, I was sick of feeling isolated. I reconnected with a high school friend back in 2022 and he's been a lifesaver in nudging me out of my bubble. He invited me to his monthly community gaming meetups and I've met so many new people in my local town. I never knew this many people were still interested in gaming face-to-face. It really opened my eyes of how much of a hermit I've been. Through the encouragement of a new person I met, I worked up the courage to join my weekly local Pokémon GO community meetup over the summer. I learned that catching legendaries would be so easy with some help.
Since meeting so many new people, I became quite close to a few of them. This is gonna sound sad, but I rarely "hung out" with people, usually keeping to myself and staying home. But after months of easing myself into more social environments, I finally hung out at people's places to play games and chat. You know, normal people things that I'm just now doing as a 24 year old. And thankfully, I'm still alive and well. Not everyone I meet is out here to murder me.
Making this website
2024 has been a year of trying new things, and in this case, relearning something I had previously sworn off: HTML and CSS. When I was still a college art student, I had to make a portfolio website to show off my work to future employers as part of an assignment. At the time, I didn't want anything to do with making my own website from scratch, but I also couldn't afford to pay for website builders like Squarespace, so I ended up using the free version of Wix to build my website. To be fair, I was able to accomplish a lot with the drag and drop model. Looking back, I was quite overzealous with my web design expression, given the lack of quality pieces to show off, but Wix served its purpose well.
That was until Wix downgraded its free plan storage, in which I couldn't upload any more media until I upgraded to a paid plan. So I could no longer modify my now-outdated personal website. Refusing to add another subscription to my expenses, I decided to create an new personal website the old fashioned way; through front-end web development. I hated web design whenever I had to learn it for school, but this time was different. I had motivation to build an entire website on my own without needing to drain my wallet.
And with the help of Neocities, I picked up HTML and CSS pretty quickly and was off the races. I felt so inspired to mimic a personal website from the early internet because there was something so liberating about expressing myself without the pressure of validation and scrutiny. And I now pay very little per month to upload as many files as I need. I never thought I'd actually go ahead and make a whole new website for myself, but life is unpredictable is great ways.
An actual team project
In the middle of 2024, my friend proposed that we started some sort of big video production. I was on board but unsure where we would even start. But over time, through word of mouth, my friend's small little idea ballooned into a legitimate production with dedicated crew members, talent, and support from a local film studio. All of these things aligned in such a way that I could've never predicted. I learned that connections really are the cheat codes of life. Trying to accomplish dreams is so much easier when I can actually depend on others. Every new helper with my friend's project has been committed to making this all work. Even if nothing comes out of this, I already treasure the memories I've made with everyone involved. People can be so kind and helpful, I just gotta find them.
Looking back at everything
This was a really transformative year for me. I felt myself growing in so many aspects that I never expected. I was used to feeling socially inept that I couldn't imagine making more genuine connections past college. But here I am feeling a greater sense of community and purpose. My goals always felt like a solo journey and I still intend to keep pursuing them to make a name for myself. But it certainly doesn't hurt to have a new support system that believes in you. I don't have to navigate my 20s alone.