Yello's Personal Thoughts
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August 30, 2024 - Avoiding the brain rot
I remember when "social media" used to be this ethereal thing as a kid, like a hub where everyone would connect and share random things about their lives. I only knew about Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, etc. whenever YouTubers mentioned it (usually to follow them there). It was never something I actively wanted to participate in because even back then, I knew that people would mindlessly browse for hours. But then, one day in high school 2015, I caved and made a Facebook account out of FOMO cuz my classmates were all on it.
At first, it was exciting to finally look at what my peers were posting, I remember even participating in one of those silly tag challenges (and failing to do it properly), and it felt validating. But eventually, there were a couple instances where I would post something I would regret, freak out, and delete it later. Thankfully, it was nothing scandalous, but even having the slightest amount of pushback from someone directly reacting to what I said was something I was not ready for. So I slowly began to post less and less on Facebook until I stopped logging in entirely. My run wasn't even that long to begin with, but I already felt slimy for engaging with the platform. Nothing in my feed actually mattered to me.
And then I jumped ship to Twitter in 2017, which was arguably worse, but a slow burn for me. I finally signed up because I wanted to show my appreciation to certain YouTubers I really loved at the time. I knew that my comment would be lost in a sea of other YouTube comments, so I figured that Twitter would be my best shot to be recognized. Again, thankfully I never used Twitter in a cringy way, where I would spam mentions and replies. That was also around the time I started my own YouTube channel, so I would use Twitter as a supplement to my YouTube persona.
And for a while, I was actually content using Twitter. Through it, I was able to connect with mutuals and even have a couple big creators follow me. I would also have people ACTUALLY comment on my tweets, which felt invigorating. I was not used to even that much attention. It was never my goal to become famous on Twitter, but the engagement was very nice, not gonna lie.
But over time, I REALLY noticed how depressing Twitter could get. Whether it's people publicly trauma dumping every single day to those intentionally stirring up debates and drama, I really hated how easy it was to fall down a hole of misery. That was my first real experience of doomscrolling. I never used to look at so many people online antagonistically, but now I do. When a platform encourages a reactionary environment, it tends to bring out the worst in people. I witnessed it firsthand and I didn't like it at all. So eventually in 2023, I decided enough was enough and left Twitter, despite the modest following I had.
So here I am, where YouTube is basically my only source of the online world. That in itself is a crippling addiction I'll have to address at some point. But everyone who said that quitting social media changed their life were actually right. I wish I had the guts to deactivate my accounts that I don't use anymore, so I do find myself inevitably needing to screenshot something and end up doomscrolling again. But whenever I stay logged out for an extended period of time, the negativity from those platforms quickly disappears. As if these social media sites never served me well in the first place.
This is as close to a time when I was a kid whose only concern was my own thoughts and the people around me. And I really wanna maintain that peace, because I've learned that while some good change can happen from social media that would've been previously silenced, most arguments and hate are either unfounded or unnecessary. People are just looking for ways to provoke others and I don't like watching the chaos unfold. I'd rather be a little more oblivious than bogged down. Kinda like how life used to feel like before I made that Facebook account.